Saturday, February 21, 2015

Weekly Buffet: Boom. Crack!

[Spoiler Alert: This is not actually a picture of my own ribcage. I wish they handed out copies as souvenirs just like after you ride Splash Mountain.]

"Boom Clap, the sound of my heart, the beat goes on and on and on and on and" might be the lyrics from a catchy tune, but for me this week it was all about "Boom Crack". That was the sound of one of my ribs breaking just about a week and a half ago.

To say that casually getting ready for work went oh so terribly wrong is an understatement. One instant I was brushing my hair and coughing, the next an audible cracking sound hit my ears. It was loud, like a tree branch breaking in half, but instead of coming from some distant forest, it was a scary sound emitting from inside my own body. Quickly, I was sent down to the bed unable to move.

The bad cold/phenomena that has everyone ill right now  had also been raging through my body off and on for about a month. Coughing non-stop had become the norm. After weeks (and one round of doctor prescribed medicine that failed to cure), I guess my poor little bones just couldn't take those powerful coughs any longer and one had to just let go.

Looking back, there was something sort of hilarious about the whole thing. The pain was total agony and I was screaming, but in a wicked case of irony, my illness had also caused me to lose my voice, so the yells just sounded like some deep voiced sheep "baahing" away.

Thankfully people weren't too far away,  could hear my muffled "baa", and once again I was carted away to the ER.

Anyone who has been keeping up to date on my life knows that medical dilemmas have been ruling my life since October. The ER might as well give me a punch card. At least by now I'd have earned an organ removal or full body cat scan on the house. Maybe with one more punch I'd finally get some cool hospital swag, like a free t-shirt or frisbee.

I didn't really need anything else to happen to my poor body. But you know what they say, when it rains it pours. Let's just hope this torrential storm has finally passed.

Any good side? Other than sleeping parts of the day away, I have once again found some productive ways to consume entertainment and enjoy down time. I'll tell you what though, even this movie loving lady is getting sick of sitting around watching and not doing.

They're Back!

Crispy M&M's were the candy that kept all of my childhood sleepovers raging. Sugar highs haven't been the same for years, since for some reason they were removed from their repertoire.

Now they are back and just as delicious as my mouth remembered. This snack brought a little happiness to the couple day long pity party I was throwing for myself. Hello old friend, I missed you. 

The Fall

Jamie Dornan is having quite the weekend after starring in the movie that is sweeping the nation. All those people who rushed out to see  Fifty Shade Of Grey might see Dornan differently had they seen The Fall first.

On that series he is playing Paul Spector, one heck of a creeptastic serial killer.

What makes a maniac the eeriest is their ability to wear many different hats and faces as they interact in the world. Dornan perfectly plays the handsome bearded everyman, doting dad, productive worker, all while in reality he stalks his next victims.

Nothing before has made me feel paranoid about the people around me in public or force me to consider how much information I put about myself online. The show demonstrates just how easy it is to track anyone and it makes me want to hide. Not really, I'm not that scared (maybe I should be), but many of these scenes will give viewers chills.

Gillian Anderson plays detective Stella Gibson who is on Spector's trail, but this is far from the typical crime drama. The Fall isn't just about all the details of the crime, even though that is gone over thoroughly. The plot is very psychological and revolves just as much around both Gibson's and Spector's lives. Even so much as  continually tying these two characters together. They are on different sides of the law, but do have a lot of common traits that make them undeniably fascinating to one another.

The first season is perfect and even though the second season left me wanting more, anyone looking for a dark drama should look no further than this one. Woo, so terrifying.

"But This Is So Much Smaller Than My Other Mansion."

HGTV is hugely popular, but even though I participated in the house restoration craze of Trading Spaces, since then I didn't understand why everyone was obsessed with watching other people buy houses, search for houses, or decorate houses.

Nothing changes that opinion more than not feeling well. I get it now - there is something entirely comforting about all of the shows on that channel. I mean Flea Market Flip? Every time I turn on the TV I hope there is a marathon playing.

Hollywood Ritual

This is the yearly tradition that never disappoints. Getting my hands on a copy of the Vanity Fair Hollywood issue always means that Oscar night is near - making movie fans faint with excitement.

Just a couple days ago, feeling more healed and able to sit up on a vessel that was something other than a comfy couch, I took this magazine outside into the glorious fifty plus degree weather to lounge in the sun.

Basking in those rays, I was transported to California laying by a pool instead of being farther up north on the ridge of the Strait of Juan de Fuca. Those day dreams might have just been the Percocet talking...

Hay Day

 "Aw man. I can't milk my cows because my barn is full!!"

That sentence actually came out of my mouth last weekend. Yes, I'm one of those people now.  I saw a real cute commercial filled with adorable animated animals (because that's all it takes) that are part of the free game Hay Day, decided to get it on my phone, and within a single hour it had taken over my life.

There are multiple reasons why this hit my obsession core so quickly. First of all, when you can't sit up or concentrate on anything that well, being able to lie down and play something mindless is a pleasant way to spend time. Secondly, this newfangled game is a combination of a Tamagotchi, Sim City, and Oregon Trail, otherwise known as toys that fueled the heart of any child of the 90s.

Right now the game is harmless, but literally throw my phone out a window for me if I start paying real money so that my barn can have extra storage for all of my digital crops.

"That's Not Fruit, THAT'S CEREAL!!"

A couple days ago I was eternally grateful for finally being able to laugh again without cringing in pain. If this new Billy On The Street video had been released a week ago, I would have had to hold off watching it with the fear that cracking up would have sent my body into tense convulsions.

And I thought the greatest combination of all time happened at the SNL Weekend Update desk Sunday night. But FLOTUS, Big Bird, Elena and Billy Eichner talking about The Facts Of Life in a grocery store just crushed that SNL moment. All of those elements combined together make for hilarious madness that no one else could ever dream up.

At this point, I'm joyously ecstatic to be able to move around freely without pain and dependence on prescription drugs. However, it couldn't come at a worse time, because tomorrow is Oscar Day - otherwise known as every movie fans favorite holiday. 

This weekend I'll still be spending plenty of time couch surfing, attempting to watch as many more nominees as I can.

Come Monday, when the honored night of movies has passed, then you'll find me scaling some sort of mountain or cooking up a batch of donuts or riding a bike or digging out a new plot of land for my ever expanding (IRL, by the by) vegetable/fruit garden.

Until next time.

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