Monday, June 7, 2010

Summer of Crap

Remember when summer was the greatest time to venture out to the movie theater? There are many fond memories of cramming all of my family or friends into our old station wagon to head to the drive-in on  hot summer nights. It was an event and one after another, every week even, there would be a movie worth running to the theater to see. This summer marks the end of an era: there is quite possibly not one movie worth shelling out hard earned money to see in the next three months.

It might just be a cynical perspective, but ultimately Hollywood seems to not give a crap anymore about what they put out. The likely biggest blockbuster type movie of the summer, Iron Man 2, came out in May, so that leaves nothing else of this type of movie for the rest of the summer.

Every single movie preview lately is making me roll my eyes so far that I'm surprised I can still see correctly. Even worse is that people will still pay to see them! Killers, that train wreck starring Katherine Heigl and Ashton Kutcher, made almost 16 mil this past weekend. Come on people, we can do better than this for entertainment.

Over at Cinematical there is a battle that makes you wish it was the summer of '85. Back To The Future! Jaws! Forrest Gump! Yes, it is a tournament deciding the best summer movies of all time. Maybe watching these blasts from the past can cure the on-set depression after going to try and see a good movie in the theater this summer.

There is still a little hope that something can rise up even through my downer opinion. Toy Story 3 will hopefully not disappoint. It's Pixar after all, and they have not let me down yet.

Below, in my opinion, a prediction of the worst of the worst and possible highlights for the summer season.

Best Possibilities For Summer Enjoyment: 

Toy Story 3

A whole toy room full of new toys, including a porcupine name Mr. Pricklepants, already means that it has a high likelihood of being freaking cute.

Scott Pilgrim vs the World
As nerdy as this could be the trailer promises something very entertaining.

Get Him To The Greek
Jonah Hill and Russel Brand struck great comedy together in Forgetting Sarah Marshall, and a whole movie with just the two of them seems like a good idea to me.

The Kids Are Alright
One of the smaller movies with a summer release. Previously seen at Sundance earlier this year, it could be the thinking persons movie of choice.

The Other Guys
Adam Mckay is always cranking out hilarious stuff (see Step Brothers, Anchorman, worked for SNL) so I don't know why this wouldn't also fall into that category.

What is this movie about! I don't know, and don't care. Leo and Christopher Nolan is a good enough reason for me.


Knight And Day
A pun? Come On.

Goes without saying.

Grown Ups
All funny guys in the cast, but they need way better material. I just noticed that Adam Sandler wrote this too...

The Karate Kid
Jackie Chan is pretty incredible, but allegedly the kid (Will Smith's child) doesn't even do karate in it. So why is this called the Karate kid again? I rest my case.

Step Up 3-D
Refer to title

Piranha 3-D
Once again the title says everything.

I might just be hating too much on these action summer movies. No, Jolie needs to stop being in the same movie.

Cats & Dogs: The Revenge of Kitty Galore
I just wanted to type that title out. Wait, Better Midler is the voice of the evil Kitty Galore! Maybe I will change my opinion about this...

I'm not even bothering to throw that Twilight movie into a category. I'm not gonna lie, I have read the series, and Eclipse was my favorite book, but I still don't know about these movies.

And maybe, maybe, I will be compeltly wrong. Just be warned to proceed with caution to your nearest cinema. You work hard for that money.

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