(Cruise actually brings it - best musical performance)
We've all the been there. The movie that you jokingly added to your Netflix Queue, with a, "oh yeah, this will be great to make fun of later", but never thought you would actually watch, has slowly but surely, month after month, crept up all the way to number two, without you even noticing.
Then that upsetting day comes. You sent back a movie and forgot to update your list. Later that morning an e-mail pings in your Inbox declaring that Rock Of Ages was just sent out and it will arrive on Wednesday. Cue your inner Liz Lemon - blerg indeed.
Now that it has been sent, there is no other choice but to watch it. I'm not wasting a movie rental afterall!
That is where my dilemma of a Sunday began. Coffee with Zeta Jones in a Pepto-Bismol, Jackie-O wannabee skirt suit, dancing for her life to, "Hit Me With Your Best Shot", if you ask me, is a little too much to take first thing in the morning.
While it may not have been by choice, and was a little shaky all the way through, I found much to be amused by:
1) I have a theory that Rock Of Ages is a prequel to Burlesque. Julianne Hough's character could easily be Christina Aguilera's mother/aunt from the 80's who was just trying to get her big break. They both came from Iowa or Oklahoma (one of those) and trekked out to LA, they both wear jean jackets, they both sing, they're blondes...it's really all right there.
2) The unsung hero is the wardrobe of Mary J. Blige. Playing the owner of a strip club in LA, Blige is essentially pure glamor every moment she is on screen. So many sparkly jump suits. Side Note: This is not sarcasm - her clothes are actually perfection and made watching this completely worthwhile.
3) I get that this is a self mockery/satirical homage or something, but enough with all the cliches! Write something better than, I got mugged and a job was dropped at my feet 30 seconds after arriving in LA. All the lead actors (cough. Hough and that main dude) just really aren't selling it. Smaller bits by Alec Baldwin, Will Forte, Russell Brand, Bryan Cranston, and this random guy from Rolling Stone on a telephone, were, on the other hand, quite hilarious.
4) I really struggle, but must admit that Tom Cruise is cool in this. His singing voice perfectly gets that high pitch tone, which really screams 80's rock. Plus, like usual, he really committed to the dazed rock star role, making you believe he was trying to take the story to a higher level that was better than what was written. Though - ass-less chaps? No Tom, put that away, my eyes...my eyes.
5) Keep bringing the Broadway musicals to the big screen! More, more, even if they aren't that great, I want more!
Seeking out a great movie to watch? This isn't it, but if it gets sent to you by accident, go ahead and give it a shot.