New Gilmore: Just What We Needed

[Heading out to a Gilmore Girls gathering this weekend and was told my outfit looked familiar...]

"I wanna remember it all. Every detail."

Life (just like for the rest of us in the real world) has continued on for the folks in Stars Hollow, Conn., the small, idyllic town featured in the now iconic television series, Gilmore Girls.

In the recently released four part cinematic explosion of a mini-series, Rory Gilmore has become a 30-something who is working out how to exactly express herself in her writing and profession, while also staying true to herself. As she uttered the line quoted above, Rory longingly moved into feeling nostalgia of her past mixed with keeping her eyes on the future. It is a line that really slugged me in the gut, mostly because my extreme sentimentality that frets over time flying by too fast, constantly causes me to feel sad when I can't remember what I ate last Wednesday. (Yeah, it's bad.) Emotional folks like myself would like nothing more than to just "remember it all". Everything, all the little things, including meals.

While it may be impossible to recall every second of every day, we can give it a good shot. We can be present and write all our experiences down in a journal or turn it into a wonderful story that captures those marvelous aspects of our daily lives. 

That has always been the real magic of Gilmore Girls. Through the years, this show has brilliantly told the stories of day to day life (just with a little more flair and definitely more hats). Big milestones are also shown, like Rory's graduation from high school and college, but more often the stories stay away from big flashy events, unlike the shows that are known for their yearly holiday themed episodes.

Gilmore Girls did try their hand at a delightful Thanksgiving episode (hilariously featuring Melissa McCarthy in full on drunk Sookie mode), but the rest of the stories are almost always focused around the moments in a year that normally go unmarked by festivities - television habits, conversations with people at your job or with your neighbors, and those weekly family dinners. These situations sometimes feel boring while they are happening, but those connections will inevitably be what most people will want to remember when looking back through the years. I know I already do.

Where the show uniquely shines is in how these life events, big and small, are captured. The writers and creators of Gilmore Girls have always known how to really create a moment you will remember forever. For example, no one could forget Lorelai solemnly settling in for A Star Is Born marathon (there are three versions) only to be surprised with a romantic gesture at her door while the quintessential Judy Garland number, "The Man That Got Away" plays in the background. Pure storytelling gold.  

This new set of episodes/mini movies of course include several of these brilliantly written and memorable moments, none which will be remembered more than a totally showstopping, purely magical montage scene that takes place in the middle of the town square set to "Reflecting Light" by Gilmore songstress Sam Philips. Many will remember that song was first featured during  Luke and Lorelai's waltz at his sister's wedding (another memorable Gilmore moment for the books). That song can cause tears to start flowing right when the first cord is struck, evident even now as I play it to set the perfect mood for writing these thoughts. It is a beautiful, haunting song all on its own, but cast against the world of these characters, as Philips' voice has set the tone for the entire series, makes those warm feelings start bubbling inside every time it's played.

This new scene is one that creator Amy Sherman-Palladino must have been planning in her head for years. With grand execution, it feels like both a magnum opus ode to the characters and town, and also a wonderful summation of her creative talents. It is beautifully choreographed to the point that it could be a music video that both Sherman Palladino and Lorelai probably dreamed about starring in during their 20s.

Needless to say what unfolds is a real wow moment that will be blowing fans away for years to come. Even if that is your only take away from the four episodes, the resurrected series was still totally worth the nine year wait. The scene is that good - I'm not exaggerating.

Some are voicing disappointments with aspects of the revival, mostly general hatred towards an extended musical scene at Miss Patty's and a few plot holes, like who wrote that letter that Emily was so mad about?  However, even with a few story missteps, I adored every minute of the Stars Hollow gang being back together. 

For me, a person who has been reeling over grief, change, and trying to make sense out of using my journalism degree the last of couple years, this series hit very close to home. So close that it kind of freaked me out.  

Finding connections with Gilmore Girls is not new, since, like other fans, I have always seen parts of myself in both Rory and Lorelai. That continues into the new episodes, where at this time in my life I completely understand each of the stresses impacting the three Gilmore women and the journeys they individually take. So much so, it feels like this series was created just to give me a personal pep talk. And it worked. 

You know when people say that things come into your life just when you need them? These new episodes of Gilmore was that for me and I will forever be grateful for the kick in the motivational pants. I can bet others out there feel the same way.

Many people will not personally connect to the main story points, but, like always, there is something in the series for everyone. Witnessing the brilliant comedic and dramatic stylings of Lauren Graham and Kelly Bishop again completely makes it worth spending six hours on the couch. Of course getting the entire gang back together again is delightful, but those two women back playing the roles that feature their talents at their best is a welcome sight that will hopefully earn them the awards that they have always deserved. 

Graham and Bishop perfectly embody how their characters are starting to feel the years passing by. That combination of nostalgia and change as the central theme of the new episodes is what gives this reboot its strongest attributes and really made it a welcome return to the world of television.

Strong emotions tied to the past are fueling the characters on Gilmore Girls, as well as nearly everyone watching the new iteration of the series. Well, those nostalgic emotions accented with Chinese food and Pop Tarts, if your viewing party (with others or solo) is doing it right. If you watched the series when it originally aired, it's impossible to not drag up feelings of  the "old days" where gathering on Tuesday nights with family or friends in living rooms (or dorm rooms, like I did for the final two seasons) was an essential part of a week. Even if you are a newer fan who binged it with the ease and beauty of Netflix over the last year or several months, you can still be smashed with nostalgia just through the lens of the characters, who we have witnessed growing up in a fictional land through the magic of storytelling. 

We can try like Rory to remember it all, but that first step will be to start enjoying the moment we are in now, a time where nine years after it ended, we were gifted with new episodes of a treasured TV show. On the scale of life, this is a small, yet essential moment that, just like the world of Gilmore Girls has taught us, is one worth celebrating.

What In The HE (Double Hockey Sticks) Happened?

Thanks to "Watchathon" on Comcast, many 2015 movies were available to be streamed for free last week.

It's always grand to watch movies that you actually have been dying to see, but it was also a fantastic time, without having to waste actual money renting them, to check out those flicks that got terrible reviews. Bless you Comcast.

When something is deemed god-awful by a large chunk of the population, don't your senses start tingling with anticipation and questioning, "Well, HOW bad is it?"

Although, even when a movie stinks up the rating system over at Rotten Tomatoes, I've always been open to the possibility of a movie proving critics wrong. On a regular basis I'm bewitched with love over a flick that no one else cared for (Safe Haven is ringing a bell). However, that doesn't always happen.

Sometimes a movie is such a mess that almost universally people exclaim, "What the F!", or the more child friendly phrase used as the title to this post.

These are the kinds of movies that completely fell of the rails from beginning to end - arguments with writers/directors might have caused a rift which ended up impacting the script or the studios could have insisted on cutting scenes and re-editing the final product. There are a lot of things that can go wrong. When a bunch of creative minds come together it can create magic, but it often also leads to the demise of an entire product.

Two movies that came out in 2015 seemed to have it all figured out. Both movies feature solid casts, one had masterful digital effects, and the other had a prestige writer/director. So, what made the final released product of Aloha (19% on Rotten Tomatoes) and Pixels (17%) a total mess? You'd have to see both to actually believe the level of disaster.

Let's start with the movie that I turned on about an hour after finishing up watching Spotlight for the second time - that would be the Adam Sandler non-fun romp that is Pixels. Just to be clear - I watched the 2015 Best Picture winner, pretty much directly followed by this six time Razzie nominee. That's really a way to get clarity on well executed vs. ill conceived storytelling.


On the outside Pixels looks like a promising idea for the world we are currently living in that is obsessed with tech and video games. You may have also guessed that it's a fun spoof on all those end of the world action movies that keep coming out, right? Those ideas sound like a wonderful taking off point for a flick that an entire family of all ages could check out.

And that's exactly how the movie begins - back in 1982 with some kid video game wizards plugging all of their change into the machines at an arcade. Then after a moment of fun nostalgia, we are transported, with a thud of drastically cut editing, into the present where these children have now grown up to be Adam Sandler and Kevin James (whose professions are a "Geek Squad" type home technology installer and THE PRESIDENT of the USA, respectively).

Right off the bat, Sandler appears to be having a bummer of a time. His boy like charm and charisma from his past films seems to have been left behind. If Sandler is not even having fun with this movie, how is anyone watching it supposed to rise above that emotional level? Once that vibe from Sandler is introduced, everything about this turns into complete nonsense.

The concept that aliens intercepted a time capsule containing video games and they have created video game characters to use to attack Earth, could have been amusing, but something happened between idea and execution that made this movie totally fail.

Arguably the most important part of a movie, the script, is not thought out well. Characters talk through all the action in dull fashion instead of showing what is happening, the plot entirely jumps around without explaining what is going on, and worst of all, half of the time, a talented cast of people are just sitting and giving reaction shots to whatever "alien attack" they are supposed to be seeing on TV.

The hilarious Jane Krakowski is totally wasted and barely given a line as basic "silent arm candy First Lady" to Kevin James and the "romantic" interactions between Sandler and the lead female character, played by Michelle Monaghan, are painful to sit through. Really though, everyone besides Sandler, is playing to the wacky romp of a movie that this was supposed to be. Sean Bean, Josh Gad, and Peter Dinklage showed up to play, giving it their all, and made it somewhat palatable to sit through. They each went full campy and over the top, which is exactly what the all around vibe should have been.

Maybe all the money for fixing the incoherent dialogue and nonsensical plot progression went to the visual effects? At least that all looked fantastic.

On one side of a weekend's watching experience we have a movie that could have been neat, and on the other, we have a movie that should never have been made. Those hacked Sony e-mails don't lie.


See, that trailer makes it seem like there is a coherent story. Don't be fooled. People should have said no. Money should never have been exchanged. Bradley Cooper, Emma Stone, Rachel McAdams, Bill Murray, and Alec Baldwin should have just taken a vacation in Hawaii instead. Hey, maybe that's exactly why this movie got made...

Much apologies to American filmmaking treasure Cameron Crowe. The negative reception of this movie has already dragged him through piles of sludge, so there really is no need for another voice to echo the same negativity. And yet, I'm too baffled to just let Aloha go by without voicing concerns.

Aloha is the most confusing movie I've even laid eyes on. Not since Gigli have I walked away from a movie wondering, "what was that even about?" If you asked me right now to explain the story, you'd have to come meet me in person so I could draw pictures and use excessive hand motions. (You might need to give me a minute break though - I'm awfully tired after having just given a 15-minute talking performance describing the three episodes of Nashville that my brother missed.)

Well, here I'll give it a go anyway. You see Bradley Cooper is going to Hawaii to help with blessing a gate (?). He flies there on a military plane, because he either is still in the military or used to be, and he used to date Rachel McAdams, but might be interested in Emma Stone. Then there's a whole dilemma with a satellite...never mind.

Sorry, I'll at least try to explain the movie watching experience.

At the very beginning, Bradley Cooper's character starts a long, fast paced, voice over monologue - one of those monologues that fans of Crowe's movies are familiar with. Within a minute of Cooper talking I literally (and I do mean the actual definition of literally) had no idea what was going on. The words and pictures were zooming by and I just kept telling myself it will be all sorted out soon. "This will make sense eventually", I said to myself, as I rocked back and forth in pure maddening confusion. But no, it never did make sense.

Even now looking back, I'm not totally sure what Cooper's job was, which is a HUGE part of the plot, and I still question how some of the characters were connected to each other. Cooper might have in the past worked for Alec Baldwin, but then again, I'm not totally sure. Just as much plot could be understood if the dialogue had been in a foreign language. It's not a good sign if a drama about modern day people  (not aliens) dealing with relationships and professions goes completely over the head of a viewing audience.

Overall, there is one baffling question - what about this story made an incredible writer like Cameron Crowe say, "I just have to write about that!"? This is currently boggling my mind.

Then there's the whole issue of Emma Stone playing a woman whose father is half Asian/half Hawaiian. Crowe has said that this character is based on a person he knows and I get that she's not supposed to look like her background, but it is a dicey casting decision to make, especially when Hollywood is getting so much flack for "white-washing" roles. The internet has since exploded with criticism. That controversy was just the spoiled icing on the cake for this movie that, honestly, never stood a chance.

It's impossible for someone to always get it right, even for a director like Crowe who has struggled in more recent years, but has created many treasured American classics (Jerry Maguire, Almost Famous, Say Anything). No one likes to see talented people falter either, yet sometimes that creative magic just doesn't come together and it's okay. For Aloha and Pixels we ask, "what happened?", but we all learn from our mistakes, don't we? 

Until next time.

"The Boss" and Career Metamorphosis

Renaissance man. Wearer of many hats. Multi-tasker.  Jack of all trades. [I'm just realizing that all these idioms are so masculine.]

There has always been a lot of labels for someone who takes on many different jobs or is tremendous at multiple skills. These terms especially become relevant in today's world, as it seems like it is only becoming more and more popular for most people (out of necessity or fun) to have multiple jobs and interests that takes them throughout their day to day life.

Of course this doesn't just apply to us regular joe's (or how about regular jane's, eh?) - it is also very relevant for those working in the entertainment industry, especially actors. Some actors are good at one thing and will stick to gross out comedy or super serious period dramas for their whole life. Then there are actors that are continually morphing into new characters and performing in different mediums every time you see them - from theater, to TV, to the big screen.

There are even those bold, versatile entertainers, that have switched from being a musician to an actor. Sometimes you just never know what opportunities will arise and where that new move will advance you down the path of your life.

Melissa McCarthy knows this better than any performer in recent years.

She may be the star of the number one movie at the box office this weekend (The Boss), but one of her old hats got put back on the rack again this week. After months of drama and stress for fans, it was finally announced that McCarthy will be returning to the show that made her famous after all! New episodes of Gilmore Girls  without Sookie St. James would have been miserable - she provides a large chunk of bubbly heart, laughter, amazing cooking accidents, and makes up one half of the tremendous friend duo with Lorelai Gilmore. Even if she's only able be part of one scene, that's better than nothing at all.

Many years after leaving Stars Hollow, McCarthy became a bona fide movie star after Bridesmaids rocketed her into the spotlight and led to her first Oscar nomination. She's now considered top billing on all her movies, is producing her own scripts, and has become the muse of director/writer Paul Fieg (from former Heavyweights fame - never forget). What makes McCarthy admirable (other than her top notch lip sync skills), is that all her success hasn't gotten to her head (or at least it doesn't appear to have) and she couldn't be more thrilled to return to a TV show that used to find its home on a little network called the WB.

Other people who have made the transition to bigger stardom don't always like reflecting on their past. I'm mostly just referring to Mark Wahlberg. Calling him Marky Mark today is only for the bold. Allegedly he does not get "Good Vibrations" from the past. [Terrible pun definitely intended.]

Wahlberg really did conquer a rarity.  The transition from TV to the big screen is one hurdle, but morphing from a singer to an acclaimed actor is more comparable to that time Homer tried to skateboard over the Springfield Gorge. There's probably someone out there that could make that jump, but more will crash down to the bottom of the ravine.

Time has shown that it is definitely much harder for musicians to be taken seriously as actors. Yet, there are some legends who have successfully made the jump.

I got talking about Cher's Twitter presence yesterday (per usual - and if you want to live your best life you too should join Twitter just to read her tweets, which showcase the only proper way to use emojis ) and the conversation turned to people who started as singers and then successfully became movie stars. It's not about Mariah's turn in Glitter, or Christina's take on Burlesque, or Vanilla Ice's foray into Cool As Ice - these were one off gigs. I'm talking about actors who you can watch in a movie and you completely forget all about the fact that they were singers at one point in their life. The small group that fall into this category have found immense success - even being nominated for numerous Academy Awards.

Ultimately, acting wasn't just a whim for singers like Cher, Wahlberg, Dolly Parton, Will Smith, or Queen Latifah.

Out of that list, Dolly and Cher have since reverted back to their singer/performer status after their string of hit movie performances in the 80s and 90s (except for when they bring out the big acting guns for more recent flicks like Burlesque and Joyful Noise).

There's always an ebb and flow to everyone's life, but I don't see Wahlberg ever reverting back to his musical roots, but hey, you never know. The need to release some tunes might start pumping back into his veins.

There's also nothing wrong with moving on and looking toward bigger success. Much like McCarthy, the transition from TV actor to movie star status can happen, but it just might take some time. People like Jennifer Aniston, Tina Fey, Chris Pratt, and Steve Carell all got their start on the small screen and have now only continued to take over the entertainment world.

It is possible to convince people that you are capable of more than one thing, even if it takes awhile. But that doesn't mean that you always have to leave everything from your past behind.

Based on the box office numbers, the world can't get enough of the hilariously brassy characters that McCarthy has become known for in the film world, and yeah, I love it all too. Although, I only hope that in between all that lovely cursing and hilarious hi-jinx, McCarthy gets the opportunity (like in the wonderful St. Vincent) to be the leading lady that shows off some of that old school Sookie St. James charisma on the big screen as well.

Until next time. 

I'm Not Angry...Just Disappointed

[Great idea that completely went out the window.]

Eye-catching advertisements or buzz worthy word of mouth can build excitement for just about anything.

I've been known to become bewitched with anticipation (heart pounding, blood pumping) very easily, but especially after seeing a gorgeously made movie trailer or a commercial for a new delicious sounding Blizzard flavor at DQ. Once the fervor is there,  nobody could convince you that ____ (fill in the blank with something you are looking forward to) isn't going to be the greatest thing that ever happened to your eyes/mouth/brain.

Sometimes though, there is a downside to having extreme enthusiasm - not a whole lot will be able to match your high expectations. That snap back into reality is what we call the eventual let down.

That sounds semi-negative, but I've become an expert when it comes to disappointment from movies. Maybe I'm a sucker for movie trailers, because when they're made real well, I could get hooked into heading out to the theater anytime, anywhere. And we all know that a good trailer does not necessarily lead to a great flick. 

The best example of me being tricked by a trailer is a throwback to high school. My friends and I saw a trailer for a comedy that we deemed just about the funniest thing to hit the Earth. I will never forget the endless amount of time - for serious, it was months - we spent laughing and talking about how hilarious this movie looked.

When the film was finally released and we raced to the theater, in utter surprise to us, it turned out to be a major stinker (terrible pun once I reveal the movie).

Jack Black, Amy Poehler, Ben Stiller, a product called Vapoorize - what's not to love about that? This was the magic makings of a total bomb called Envy. Remember it? All I know is it almost became the first movie I walked out of and demanded a refund. But, like all good people flummoxed by how wrong they were about something, I sat and watched until the end hoping it would get better. It never did.   

I'm almost positive that Envy was actually called Vapoorize originally. Now, a title like that would obviously explain why my friends and I were expecting a ballsy work of dark comedy brilliance. Or we probably should have known it would be terrible...

I still haven't learned my lesson, since now-a-days, I still see all of the movies and never stop watching, no matter how bad the experience. On the other hand, I no longer  allow time to be spent reading a book I don't find interesting or keep watching a television series just hoping it will get better. It's never worth spending your time doing something you don't enjoy, even if it means admitting defeat about something you had been hoping would be truly genius.

Since I do tend to be over excitable, I am destined to be let down quite often. Just in the the last couple months, a small list of true disappointments have been stacking up.

Gotham

Gotham City, aka Batman's home, is a place that exudes darkness, where most of the residents are villains who are always causing trouble.

When I heard word that FOX was adapting a show that would use Gotham City as its backdrop and focus on Batman when he was a child, it sounded like an unstoppable idea. With the recent success of Christopher Nolan's take on the Dark Knight, it seemed like that was the direction the show wanted to take. Seedy, gloomy, edgy - based on the early trailers for the show, Gotham looked like one of the large television networks had finally figured out how to make a stylized drama like the one's the cable channels have been making for years.

Based on all that, the word "excited" was an understatement when it came to me awaiting the premiere of Gotham. I was pumped months before its debut. After sticking it out for about 10 episodes though, I had to let it go.

The visual look of the show, especially all of the details for creating Gotham City, is terrific. There is something really interesting about how the show is set in an unknown time period. Both old and new technology (some offices have type-writers, while others use fancy computers) are even thrown together, giving the show a mysterious touch.

Even the best sets and props that create a world really well can't help when the writing and execution of the stories are flat out terrible. The plot is continually jumping around. During the numerous episodes I watched, I was often frustrated at ridiculous sub-plots to the point that I would exclaim out loud, "No one cares about this!"

If it wasn't for Robin Lord Taylor (who plays the young Penguin), I would have bailed out of the show after episode three. He is very fun to watch, which is why I am a little sad for not sticking it out. No, they should just retool the whole show to be focused around him instead, then I'll be back.

Maybe it will turn around. Who knows. It is baffling to me that with such a perfect set up, the writers couldn't come up with consistently interesting stories, instead of the same old stuff we see in any other procedural cop show. Such a waste.

American Horror Story: Freak Show

Carnival tricks, a frightening clown murderer, a polished psychotic gentleman, 1950s costumes, and giant festive tents - American Horror Story: Freak Show had all the makings to be the best season yet!

For the first five episodes or so, it wasn't too far off to believe that the season would come out on top. Every viewer though can probably attest to the moment when the show started sliding downhill. It was when the series entirely lost its focus and had nowhere to go.  Just like Gotham, it all comes down to the writing.

Generally speaking for the show as a whole, American Horror Story always tends to ebb and flow with quality. I've talked about this many times in reference to Ryan Murphy, who has great ideas, but never knows how to execute that genius all the way through a project.

With such a high starting point full of truly chilling moments, I don't think anyone could have guessed that this season would somehow mirror the frantic, slapped together final seasons of Lost. In that case, and with Freak Show, it felt like the writers never had any idea where the story should end up. Nothing felt resolved, since numerous plot lines were completely thrown out the window. Mass deaths happened in the final episodes and it felt like it was because the writers simply couldn't be bothered to come up with something better.

When the last moment of the series came to a close, and it cut to black, I was flabbergasted that any show runner could have been satisfied. There were some very well done moments and great characters (Dandy, played by Leo lookalike Finn Wittrock, was a crazed revelation), but once again, strong promise doesn't mean anything without follow through. Writing and story progression is everything, otherwise it is an insult to anyone who is watching and trying to piece it all together.

If you can't tell, I was actually mad about this, mostly because I defended this season for so long, continually telling people, "Don't worry, each season always blows your mind in the end!"  Frankly, the show did not show me the same respect.

Can Lady Gaga and a kind of mundane sounding "Hotel" top the endless possibilities for stories that could have come with a set like a Freak Show? We'll just have to see.

Snowpiercer

You're telling me that there is a movie set entirely on a futuristic train that never stops traveling around the Earth and it is filled with passengers who became the only survivors once the outside world froze and that over the years these people eventually developed their own class structure, specifically based on where you were in the train when the apocalypse happened? Holy crap! Sign me up! This sounds like the most incredible movie of recent memory!

The extreme buzz for Snowpiercer was endless in the later point of 2014, which lead to my joyous feelings expressed above. Every magazine I read raved and each website and positive tweet further supported the movie's magnificence. How could all of this stellar talk not lead to excellence?

There are people out there that will find me insane, but I'm going to be honest and say it anyway - I detested this movie. Hated. Loathed.

What is it with things that crumble under the pressure of an incredible original premise? A train that replicates our own shameful social structure and the earth's actual rotation (it takes the train 365 days to make one trip around the world), I mean, what an amazing concept!

Yet the idea is wasted, especially once the story focuses entirely on very extended  fight sequences instead of letting the audience learn more about the people on the train. I have no problem with well filmed action packed moments. Of course there had to be some killing sprees, since the overall story is about the poor, suffering people in the back of the train, attempting to rebel against the rich people and make it through the hundreds of fancy cars to the front of the train. (When I type that sentence, the movie still sounds great.)

Although, we can't care about hero man Chris Evans and his other rebels stomping on the man (and Tilda Swinton's magnificent set of teeth) if we don't know much about their characters. Because of this lack of character development, there are no stakes and  I spent the whole time not really caring what happened to anyone, which seems to negate the whole point of the movie. At least I think we're supposed to care about the serf like society taking down the evil royals...

Really the most interesting moments are when these rebels must pass through the hundreds of other train cars. Each one has different themes that support other aspects of life - one is a classroom, another has a sushi chef, and there is even one that is just a party room filled with people doing drugs. To me, these train cars filled with different people is where the story should be focused, but instead they quickly move along (the train is very long afterall). These people just seem magnificent and fascinating and we only get to see them for short snip-its.

Ultimately, I wanted to know much more about this world and the people forced to live within it. How could I be anything but disappointed when that didn't happen?

This movie is bizarre and at times fascinating, but always frustrating. With so much talk I expected this whole idea to be rolled out with perfection and instead found a violent high brow action movie that lacked important story-telling elements. Really, it was upsetting - I very much wanted to love this flick.


Snowpiercer became another fail in my eyes, but it's all subjective. Some people might not care as much about story progression (or wonder how it is possible that those children become train parts??) and just want to see people seeking revenge in ill-planned train wars. And that's just fine. For those people, expectations were met and everything is feeling great.

For me, Gotham, Freak Show, and Snowpiercer were total let downs. I still feel a little betrayed.


Did anything not match your high expectations recently?


Until next time!

Sister Suffragette

"So, did you vote?"

That question came spewing out my mouth quite a lot today. It is election day, so I was simply being topical, yet I was actually met with a few side eyed glances. Is this a controversial question?

Maybe so, since midterm elections never have as high of a turnout in comparison to the bigger, showy Presidential elections. Those glances I got may have just been the look of guilt.

This midterm isn't as glamorous, but, stating the obvious now, it's important to vote each and every time.

I know, I sometimes see why people check out of the democratic process. The issues are confusing, those guys/gals are never doing their job in Washington D.C anyway, so why bother?  We don't even get to go to official polling stations anymore. Here in Washington the ballot is just an adult version of connect the dots.

While I may agree that the initiatives could be more clearly explained, everything else is just being negative.

We are all a little person in our own little individual part of the country. It may seem like our vote has no impact.  But what if everyone felt that way? No one would show up and the system wouldn't work. Together we become the strong voting body that collectively voices an opinion.

For women: let's move in close and have a deep convo. Come on! Less than 100 years ago we weren't even ALLOWED to vote.  [Side note: This calculation is based on the official passing of the 19th amendment in 1920. Some states had passed laws earlier.] Can you imagine living in a time where our country said we couldn't do something? In my case, sassy Justine would have come out a lot.

When the Titanic sank, women couldn't vote. The history of film is older than a woman's right to vote. And the same goes for Oreo cookies, crossword puzzles, traffic lights, and the panama canal. How dare the Oreo cookie exist while women were still deemed a lesser citizen.

Suffragette's fought hard staging rally's in the streets to win this right - let's not slap all their work in the face. Especially now that politicians are fighting like wild animals for our vote.

It may not seem exciting to fill out a ballot and read about politics, but give it a try. At least do it for Mrs. Banks and all those ladies who made the US and other countries around the world a more fair and just place.

"Our daughter's, daughter's will adore us..."



I spent most of my childhood wanting one of those sashes - plus Mary Poppins' magic bag.

Get your vote on. There is still time. Well, maybe only on the west coast.


Until next time.

Movies Take On The Media

Inciting Ebola mania.

"If it bleeds, it leads."

Death and destruction will always be the story given the most attention on the news.

We are all guilty of being fascinated in looking when life hits terrible turns. It's the car crash you can't help but rubberneck on the highway. TV has made it that much easier to indulge in such practices. Yet, the over the top nature in which it is covered can be upsetting most of the time.

Just sitting down tonight, in one hour spanning both local and national perspectives, various stories that fit that frame were, as expected, set up on the center stage. There was a follow-up to  last week's gun shooting at a Marysville, Wash. high school, a story about torrential storms causing panic for unsuspecting citizens all over the east coast, and continuing coverage on the Virgin America crash. 

Even through all the criticism, I still live for the news. It is frustratingly flawed in some ways (like, endlessly covering Ebola in the US when we should focus on how to help the problem in Africa), but I remain optimistic that there is enough quality reporting still happening that would outweigh the negatives.

Since I'm actively critical and a heavy consumer of media, it was hard to ignore that our common place world of visual storytelling is clearly ridiculed in some very popular entertainment items from this week. Two top movies at the box office are largely, if not completely, focused on our obsession with watching horrible crimes and the sketchy nature of the media.

No spoilers here about Gone Girl. I was one of those folks who had wanted to read the book for the last year and then, at least, before the movie came out. Well, that never happened. I don't know the ending yet, but after starting the novel less than two weeks ago, I'm now getting into the last one hundred pages.

What I can confidently say without ruining anything, is that a huge focus of the story is being critical of how crime stories unfold on the television. There is even a character that is straight up an homage to Nancy Grace, since no story of this nature could be complete without a passionate lady like her.

As if we are all detectives and life is a game of Clue, viewers of shows like the one Ms. Grace hosts, pick apart evidence that is seen on their screen and half expect to solve the mysteries themselves. Many even take sides and make judgements without even really knowing the "true story".

I say that in quotes, because, what really is the truth? Does anyone else wonder if we ever know for sure? That's just me being a crazy conspiracy theorist.

Being told from two different perspectives, Gone Girl wonderfully plays with the truth, bouncing the readers (or, I imagine now, the viewers) to continually change their perspectives on who can be trustworthy. Just like the audience enjoying the tale, when presented with new information, the national media covering the Amy Dunne case is seen to change their minds very quickly. Those news producers are simply going with what details  they have to continue the story. They may turn the hero into the villain and vice-versa multiple times over, but we hope that they are always reporting the most honest and accurate information.



 
"Hoping" seems all well and good until a "wowza" movie like Nightcrawler is released. It is such a fantastic flick that it will stick in your mind and, at the same time, make you question everything you see on television.

Lou Bloom, a crazed trickster/perpetual thief (played to creepy perfection by Jake Gyllenhaal) has his keen eyes set on finding an actual career. While curiously checking out a car accident, Bloom observes a news film crew recording the entire scene and instantly decides that is the job for him. With obsessive detail, Bloom begins figuring out how to film car accidents and other crimes during the late nights/early mornings in L.A. This type of footage, the bloodier, the better, reels in viewers and is in high demand at every news station in the area, which quickly turns Bloom into a money making machine. The real seedy side of journalism.

He's new to the trade, yet quickly develops his skills at a frighteningly top notch level. Bloom turns in such impressive work that it gets to the point where one station manager is willing to do just about anything to get some of his b-roll footage. When all that power isn't enough, nothing and no one around him is safe from his manipulation. Even what he films and the lengths he will go to in order to get some great footage.

Slick as I'll get out, yet unprofessional as hell. Simple cuts, edits, or a different angle and perspective can completely change any story. Altering the truth can be so simple.

Could a person like Bloom actually exist? Sure. Plenty of journalists have been caught writing misleading news. Two excellent stories like Gone Girl and Nightcrawler weren't written to make us all depressed about how easily people can be untrustworthy, but instead both tales force us all to think a little more before taking everything we watch at face value. Maybe we should even do a little more of our own research before making a single judgement.

Or maybe we should stop caring so much about seeing bloody car crashes or wondering if a guy killed his wife or who the shooter was in a local tragedy. If we all still tune in for that type of news, the networks will continue to focus on it the most.

Until next time.

Emmys 2014: Staches + Streets

[Farewell To Breaking Bad - winner for Supporting Actor & Actress, Actor, Writing,  Editing, and Drama Series.]

Exactly one week ago from tonight, the awards season kicked off with the 66th edition of the Primetime Emmy Awards.

Between live tweeting/blogging during the actual show, red carpet arrival interviews, and post show writer wrap ups, all the ins and outs of the show have already been covered in excess.

Since we all know this to be true, but I physically can't let an entertainment event pass by without inserting some sort of my own commentary, I'll make it quick.

There were people who won that I love (Ty Burrell, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, Allison Janney) and others that I will never understand (maybe one day I will see the light and seek out The Good Wife and The Big Bang Theory...I said maybe). Only one win was hotly debated and controversial in my household - honestly we love Aaron Paul, and it's such a tight race, but still, Peter Dinklage experienced the robbing of the century.

We can complain up and down and all around over who won and who didn't, however, now the only thing that matters are the significant moments of the ceremony that viewers will look back on most fondly.

I found the show to be quite enjoyable from beginning to end (since I'm a freak of nature who finds enjoyment in what others see as torture), yet there are exactly two details of which are most important and must be acknowledged.

"Hold On Clark Gable"

Julia Louis-Dreyfus ripped that line right out of my brain. This phrase is, of course, in reference to Cranston's Stache.

Not only was it Breaking Bad's year to win everything, but when Cranston came out with a look like that, he also proved he is one of the few on this planet that can make the solo mustache look classy as shit.

All I want to know: what magical movie is he filming in which this is part of his "character"? It's going to be good, that's all I know for sure. Remember, he even killed it in Godzilla.

Yeah, I know this is probably too much talk about a mustache, but seriously, the facial hair was a necessary detail for all the best bits. Cranston running around with mischief in his eye, much like Snidely Whiplash, played perfectly into the rest of the memorable hijinks he was involved in throughout the show.

This guy never stops working, even on a night he is getting honored! We'll all miss Cranston as Walter White, but there will be more great roles to come.

"Dinklage vs. Patinkin!! Dinklage vs. Patinkin!!"

One of the happiest moments of 2014, was discovering "Billy On The Street" on Funny Or Die's website. Pop culture fans can agree, he says everything we are thinking and wish someone would talk about on a game show that involves pestering people in the street.

Gay Of Thrones aside, no other online series of videos has left me hysterically cackling, which lead to tears obstructing my vision and nearly passing out from lack of oxygen.

I realize some people think he's too yell-y and can't stand him - what's wrong with you?

When Billy Eichner came out on stage with host Seth Meyers, I nearly fell over with excitement. Their video montage stole the night. Yes, even away from the Stache admired round the world.

Hopefully all this attention will get more viewers for his show. Eichner made a "Meryl-Go-Round" for crying out loud! He deserves the world!



Until next time.

Let The Credits Roll

For the purposes of its implied meaning, the old timey idiom, "never judge a book by its cover", is awfully grand.

Not judging people by how they look on the outside is the greatest advice anyone could bestow on others, but if we instead take the meaning of the saying very literal, truth be told, I break this rule all the time.

Who isn't intrigued by beautiful cover design as we peruse the shelves of the library or bookstore? Just because I don't like the cover, however, doesn't stop me from reading a book, I am a reasonable person after all, but a well designed cover in a bright color can definitely catch a readers eye more than something bland looking.

The cover is the first thing we see - it's the introduction to the story before we even know how the plot will unfold.

In movieland this is also true. Often the first frame of a movie is a list of words; produced by, starring so and so, the film company, etc. An eloquently thought out opening credits sequence is an art all its own.

These seemed to be essential for older films - Rogers and Hammerstein musically set title cards and zingy Doris Day cartoon openings come to mind. These type of elaborate openings have mostly gone out of vogue, where movies tend to just start and throw up the title over a freeze frame of one of the characters.

Some newer films have kept up the tradition - Woody Allen's simple black screen with white text is his perpetual trademark, the trailing of a criminal by an FBI agent in Catch Me If You Can is stylishly animated, and a pile of tater tots with ketchup (among other random food/items) creatively open  Napoleon Dynamite. 

Two title sequences in particular inspire me all the time, even in this here blog. One is definitely already deemed a classic and the other will be considered that soon.  Look up to the blog header or below - does that picture remind you of anything? Maybe there is a hint of a 15 year old rock loving enthusiast who does some writing for Rolling Stone?

Cameron Crowe's credits for Almost Famous were just asking to be paid homage to and I'm surely not the first to do it. [Click here to view the credits]

Only in the least year did I realize that Crowe, with his title card creation, seemed to have been  initializing his own tip-o-the -hat to the credits of a beloved film and another one of my own personal favorites.



I knew there was a reason I was specifically drawn to both of these sequences!

Watching To Kill A Mockingbird last month I finally had the lightbulb moment about the similarities. Only last month! I've watched these both time and time again over the years, obsessed about the credits and only now saw the comparison.

The opening titles to Almost Famous and Mockingbird follow the hands of creative youth at work. They both exude that same feeling of the playful innocence we all had in our younger years. The two even specifically mirror each other in two instances, especially in how they honor treasured collections and looking back at memories.

One sequence shows a pile of childlike knickknacks saved in a tin box, where the other displays a drawer full of concert memorabilia (a right of passage for any teen). The closest similarity though, can be seen in the little girl rubbing a black crayon over her white paper to reveal the title of the movie and the hand of "the enemy" writing out the title of his movie on lined notebook paper.

These are great examples of how in just the opening credits the tone of the movie can already be set, with little bits of character traits and even some objects of each film creatively captured in one sequence.

Bad judgements can be negative, but anyone who judges these two movies by the first shot would be correct. Both films start strong and only get better.

When it became time to think about an update to the old blog design, it only seemed right to take inspiration from the other side of this honored duo. Maybe something like this:

Until next time.

Listing: Meet Me At The Crossroads

[My new wallpaper for everything.]

While the Winter Olympics are dominating NBC, the networks regular scheduled programming is taking to the Net.  Anyone not interested in the cold and snowy (somewhat) conditions of Sochi can keep warm with the Texas spirit brought back to life by a few folks from Dillon.

In a master stroke of genius, Jason Katims decided to spend the Olympics hiatus bringing together two of his critically acclaimed, yet criminally under-watched television masterpieces  - yeah, that's right, the worlds of Parenthood and Friday Night Lights are converging right now.

There is no way to properly explain the amount of happiness that filled my heart when I clicked onto the 18 minute "webisode" and found Landry (aka Lance) jamming with his band Crucifictorious at the Luncheonette recording studio and Amber donning some East Dillon Lions apparel - dreams brought to reality.

People may argue that there are continuity issues - I'm already reading complaints by some who wonder how Amber could possibly be friends with Becky - but hey, let's not take it so seriously!  This is simply an opportunity to create a fun filled inside joke for anyone who loves both of these shows.

Boy, are there many references to savor, specifically, a shout out to The Landing Strip and a certain "local car dealership". Also, Billy Riggins playing football with Max is precious, and let's get serious, Landry would be really good for Amber.

For those out of the loop on these two shows, I've ranted about this many times before, so make these your next TV show obsession faster than you can say Riggins Rigs.

  (Check out Friday Night At The Luncheonette here.) 

All this talk of merging got me thinking about those great crossover episodes from years past. They always seemed to be thrown in during sweeps or when the network was trying to get viewers hooked on some new show. Some from my childhood are marvelous, but it seems like now those types of episodes are reserved for the dramatics of Grey's Anatomy and Private Practice. Oh, what I would have given to somehow find Tracy Jordan hanging out with Walt Jr.

Let's remember the good times, and those classic TV crossover episodes from the days of yore:

The Simpsons Meets The X-Files

"The Springfield Files" episode of The Simpsons may have entirely went over my head back in the day, since I had never seen The X-Files, but that didn't stop it from becoming (and still being) my favorite episode from the long running cartoon.

Now that I have successfully completed getting sucked into all the adventures of Dana Scully and Fox Mulder (best. name.) I can properly fan-girl out about this classic crossover.

The episode finds Homer, after a night at Moe's, traversing the outskirts of Springfield only to have a close encounter with, what he believes, is an alien. Obviously, since they also had their own hit TV show at the time, Scully and Spooky Mulder are called in to investigate.

Sometimes crossover episodes are awkward and forced. For this episode the setting is a cartoon world that has no limits to creativity and wackiness, and that's what makes this pairing absolutely perfect.

Mad About You Meets Friends

Several years before she became part of the six single best friends living the dream in NYC, Lisa Kudrow played a role on another successful NBC show, Mad About You.

Once she got the gig playing Phoebe Buffay, what's the network to do? Of course! Make the characters twin sisters! Kudrow played double duty starring on Friends, as the lovably kooky Phoebe, and still popping back up every so often on Mad About You as Ursula the flighty waitress.

The episodes of Friends where Ursula would pop up to cause Phoebe some sort of grief were always hilarious. Just like when they both dated Sean Penn that one time - he thought he could dump Ursula, start it up with Phoebe, but he could only look at her without his glasses, because she would look fuzzy and he could call her "Blur-sula". Oh the hyjynk!

Phoebe ended up married to Paul Rudd, so it all really worked out for everyone.

Full House Meets Family Matters

If there could only be one cultural icon to represent each decade of television , without a doubt the 50s would be represented by Lucille Ball, the 70s would be Mary Tyler Moore, and the 90s would have to be all about Steve Urkel.

"Did I do that?" Yes, Urkel, you did. The fact that this was a character that rocked the nation in high waisted pants and suspenders makes me elated.

For a time it seemed like you could find Urkel crossing over to just about every TV show, but facing down Uncle Jesse, cardigan to sweater vest, has to be the all time greatest. Well, besides when he turns into the hunky Stefan Urkel. PLEASE tell me Jaleel White has a thousand Emmys for that transformation alone.


I seem to remember an instance where Salem, from Sabrina The Teenage Witch, spent an entire night crossing over to each show on the T.G.I.F. line-up. Didn't this have something to do with Boy Meets World going back in time to WWII?

There was no video proof on the internet to back this assertion up, so it will just have to remain in the illustrious television crossover film vault and, of course, in our memories.

Until next time.

"The Only True Currency In This Bankrupt World Is What You Share With Someone Else When You Are Uncool"

Sunday was a weird day - it was at least 15 waking hours full of a bag of mixed emotions.

Being in the Pacific Northwest the only way to open your eyes that day was with a big smile, bursting with excitement. Well, maybe not exactly like that - the whole smile thing sounds a little creepy, but you know what I mean.

Cultural events are a big deal in my mind, so the Seahawks were in the Super Bowl and after a ton of years thinking this would NEVER happen again, I was able to experience it with my family.  I was also making black bottom cupcakes - to be frank, the world was looking pretty dang good.

Any day with a backdrop like this is made even more perfect by kicking it off snuggling into a comfy chair with a mug of joe. Per a somewhat weekly tradition I was amping up for a little State Of The Union with Candy Crowley, while also sipping coffee and scanning my mobile device, feeding my ample curiosity about the happenings in the world.

Breaking news can be discovered in an instant, and that's what happened when I refreshed my Twitter feed to see that one second prior David Muir had sent out 140 characters or less about the demise of a beloved actor.

No one else was reporting it, so I sat there somewhat bewildered, since it's never happy to hear about a death.

Minutes ticked by, and after several quick repetitive refreshes, there it was, cascading down were endless reports from the BBC, The New York Times, and every other news source you could imagine. At that point, it was obvious - Philip Seymour Hoffman had indeed passed away.

I didn't know the guy, it's actually none of my business about what happens to him, and, even though we don't like to think about it, people do die everyday. So, why need I be upset?

Other then me being an empathetic mess on a daily basis, news like this is shocking. An actor we have all loved watching in movies would no longer be there to entertain. There are good memories and cherished admiration. Why I was so taken back by the news though, was that it's always difficult to hear about people losing their fight with addiction, cutting a life short.

Corey Monteith wasn't my favorite actor, nor was Amy Winehouse my favorite singer, and even though I did adore Heath Ledger, in each of these circumstances I was equally devastated to hear about their too early passing. These are people we recognize and they put a face to deaths that are happening all over the world that will never make the news. Known or unknown are equally tragic.

Even though it feels odd to me to talk in this way about people I never knew, it has to be said that Hoffman left movies to this world that people enjoyed and will continue to love. Creating something that makes people happy is a pretty great legacy to leave behind.

He's the male Meryl Streep - you can watch them in anything.  You seek out all of his films, even the one's where he only has a bit part, because you know even if the movie isn't that great, he will be wonderful.

Of course there was his Academy Award winning role in Capote, the suspicious priest in Doubt, and the cult like leader in The Master (remember when he chillingly sings that song to Joaquin Phoenix!) Yes, that's also Hoffman as part of the weather chasing scientist crew in Twister - he had quite the range.

There are too many favorites to count, from The Savages to Magnolia to The Talented Mr. Ripley, but there is always the one that left the first lasting impression; Hoffman as Lester Bangs in Almost Famous is entirely unforgettable.


Anyone who ever cherished the music scene or wanted to be a writer in any capacity has to covet this flick as some sort of treasure trove.

In my early teens I grasped onto it as a window into a world I wanted to know more about and through the years each viewing hits me differently.

Playing legendary rock critic Lester Bangs (who also sadly died too young), Hoffman is the, at first, unwilling mentor to the lead character. Within only a couple scenes, he moves from annoyance to showing genuine care toward this kid.

In the hands of some other actor this could have been a throw-away bit part, but Hoffman truly exudes that compassion we all wish we could find in someone who could guide us and dispel fears with insightful wisdom on the world at large.

The film is full of terrific one liners ("I am a golden god!" anyone?), but Hoffman arguably has the best, as evident from the above clip.

All day on Sunday these lines were running through my head. The crushing Seahawks victory was quite the distraction, but another Hoffman as Lester Bangs moment popped into my brain at some point during me avidly defending the Bruno Mars halftime show:

"Music, you now, true music - not just rock-n-roll - it chooses you. It lives in your car, or alone listening to your headphones, you know, with the cast scenic bridges and angelic choirs in your brain. It's a place apart from the vast, benign lap of America."

Each person's preference will decide what music they like and movies are the same. Every fan of Philip Seymour Hoffman will have their own favorite moment - Almost Famous will always be mine, but what is yours?

Until next time.

Weekly Buffet: Say, Have There Been Any Awards Shows Lately?

Tis the season for an awards show every weekend, or in the case of this week three - the Golden Globes, the Critics Choice Awards, and the SAG Awards - all happened in less than seven days.

Somehow, caught in a whirlwind of still enjoying the events of the Golden Globes, I didn't even know the SAG Awards were occurring until I caught the last ten minutes on TV yesterday. Earlier in the week I was treated to running across the Critics Choice airing on The CW - a channel I never watch, and each commercial break advertised an alternate universe of television I didn't even know was airing on a regular basis. (Hart Of Dixie didn't get cancelled after its first season a couple years ago? And what is The Orginals?)

Don't they normally stretch these shin-digs out? Basically the same people have spent this entire week getting dressed all fancy, clapping, maybe giving a speech, sleeping, and then repeat. In most cases the same people won their category at each ceremony. It must be a mighty stretch to work that same bunch of people, all while trying to say something new that many days in a row.

All of these other awards have been building to the event movie fans wait all year for - the Academy Award nominations were also announced this week! Most of the expected contenders will be up for that Oscar come March 2nd, but like usual, there were some left off the list.

Between all these big movie business events, there were many moments to discuss. Here are just a few (but mostly everything Emma Thompson):

Tina + Amy

There will never be enough good things to say about this pair. Between the two of them, their comedy delivery is the perfect combination of truth and zaney. How can you not adore them?

Fey and Poehler are able to accomplish zingers without being mean. It always comes from a place of honesty. Yeah, Leonardo DiCaprio does date a ton of supermodels, and yes, George Clooney always has a lady 10 to 20 years his junior on his arm - why not make a joke about it!

The two got to deliver a fair bit of hilarious entertainment throughout the night, but something that can't be said about other awards shows, I wanted more! Less rambly winners and more bits from the hosts I say.

I just want them to be everywhere all the time. Now that 30 Rock has come and gone, (I am continually mourning its loss), at least Amy Poheler can benefit with a rightfully deserved Best Actress win.

More Funny

Innately wacky ladies are my soul sisters, and besides Tina and Amy, Emma Thompson and Jennifer Lawrence have been making this week especially wonderful.

Thompson running, throwing, giving standing ovations, and just bringing her natural sense of whit and whimsy to the Golden Globes added another highly amusing element to the show. I also appreciate, as she is also an award winning screenwriter, that she always makes a point of acknowledging the importance of a well written story.

Word has it she also owned last night's SAG Awards. Sadly Thompson was once again a loser in her category, but from the one moment I saw at the end of the show, she looked to be enjoying her time drinking out of a blue party cup with a bendy straw. That's all that matters.

I wouldn't call Jacqueline Bisset intentionally funny, but her flustered and wacky acceptance speech, which left me frozen with hands clasps to my cheeks (Macaulay Culkin style) will be remembered for years to come. Not quite as priceless as this Golden Globes moment brought to you by Elizabeth Taylor, but close.

Also, let me know if there is anything more delightful than Jennifer Lawrence making that face while creepin' on T. Swift. I would gladly watch that on a loop for all eternity.

Misses

Speaking of Emma, after loving every moment of her uttering hilariously coarse one-liners as the persnickity P.L. Travers, it's a sad day to see her not get an Oscar nomination for a role she so perfectly embodied. Frankly, it is one of the best roles of her entire career.

Apparently the rest of the Academy were on the (wrong) side that found Saving Mr. Banks too sentimental, because the entire movie was snubbed, except for my boy Thomas Newman, who's nominated for Best Score. Being a Disney fan and Mary Poppins enthusiast, I found it impossible to not be enamored by the entire movie that has an unexpected emotional wallop which left streams of tears running down my face.

It must be a tough movie year, if a wonderfully nostalgic film, with a top to bottom terrific cast (including a surprisingly notable Colin Ferrel), gets overlooked by the Oscars.

This could mean Thompson is less likely to show up at The Academy Awards and it could be the end of her reign of bringing the funny. We wouldn't be upset if The Academy invited this already two-time  winner (one for acting, one for screenwriting) to present an award - Ellen might need some help charming the crowd.

For the last twenty years Thompson has always delivered top notch performances, but more recently she is rarely the star of anything and has taken more supporting roles in such films as Love Actually, An Education, Stranger Than Fiction, and in several of the Harry Potter series.

The Oscars haven't come calling since 1996 (!), which made it especially exciting that she was again the star of a movie and getting nominated for a slew of awards. If they allowed 6 nominees, I bet she would have been in there.

I haven't seen enough of the other in contention films to cry out about any more snubs, but get back to me in a month after I crank through as many nominated films as I can.

Hits

Out of the nine contenders for Best Picture I have only seen two - Gravity and Dallas Buyers Club. Both are well deserving of the nominations and eventual wins.

Even though it seems like now Cate Blanchett is a sure thing for Best Actress, I wouldn't count out Bullock. The physically and emotionally demanding job of being on screen for almost every second continues to show that she isn't just a rom-com gal. Bullock can be in any type of movie she wants.

Even if Bullock doesn't win, there is still the possibility of Gravity winning Best Picture, and almost definitely, Best Director. This will be devastating for anyone who was enraptured by the (so I hear) emotional experience of watching 12 Years A Slave, but a blockbuster/mind blowing visual experience like Gravity taking the top prize would delight the masses.

Dallas Buyers Club has almost no way odds of winning Best Picture, but that's all fine and dandy with two male performances that will likely steal the night. The fact that Jordan Catalano could soon have an Oscar is a completely wonderful thought. I had no idea that Jared Leto would be heartbreaking enough to steal nearly every scene they shared away from Matthew McConaughey.

Even still, this is McConaughey's movie. We'd all seen the pictures as he was preparing to play Ron Woodroof - he was down to almost half his usual stature and nearly unrecognizable

No one has had a more diverse filmography in the last couple years, but he had yet to completely transform himself for a part. Other actors like Tam Honks...I mean...Tom Hanks and Christian Bale have done it and ended up with Oscars. Now it's McConaughey's chance, and I couldn't be more thrilled.


Movie fans, we have over a month to catch up on the Best Of 2013 according to The Academy Of Motion Picture Arts and Sciences. It's a challenge I'm willing to accept.

Side Note: I got swept up by the films that I forgot about the exciting Golden Globe winners in the TV categories: Bryan Cranston! Breaking Bad! Elisabeth Moss! Robin Wright! Amy Poehler! (I already said that one, but yay again.)

Listing: Punniest Christmas

[Snowy nights - perfect for movie watching]

 Christmas time is just another reason to pop on some flicks. Those ones that are so engrained as tradition that if you didn't watch them while decorating the tree or sipping hot cocoa it would be as if something was missing.

It's definitely to each their own when it comes to the immense and vastly assorted Christmas canon, but for me it's really about the real classics - those filmed fifty years before I was alive, in black and white, with classy broads waving cigarettes while covered in their glamorous fur's.

Give me snow falling atop the Holiday Inn, or one of Father O'Malleys churches, or the March family homestead, or on the heads of Ebenzer and Tiny Tim, any holiday season.

Those oldies are Christmas to me, but being a modern  movie watcher means a little Love Actually, While You Were Sleeping, Prancer, and the 1994 version of Little Women are all thrown in for good measure.

I try to expand from the usuals and find at least one new treasure each year. Normally it is nothing too slapsticky or "dumb", but for some reason this year, I have fully embraced the ridiculous amount of cheese playing on  TV. Sometimes it just feels good to laugh at a crappy movie - I bet you may find one, or five, playing on TV right this second.

Lifetime, ABC Family, and Hallmark have been playing Christmas movies 24/7 since at least early November. At first that little bit of Scrooge inside me exclaimed, "too soon!", but I have since caved big time.

Are these good? Why, no. Are they worth watching? Oh, why yes!

It appears that all holiday themed made for TV movies have a simple formula: A pair of C List Actors + HYJYNX! = L.O.V.E. Don't forget a dash of a holiday pun for the title, and BOOM, you've got yourself a movie! The location will change, the actors will be different, but boy are they all the same story.

Here is just a sampling of a few that have been playing on repeat the last two months:

The Mistle-Tones

Doesn't every town have an accepella singing competition at the mall that is the highlight of the entire holiday season? I thought so.

This story finds Tia Mowry audtioning for The Snow Bells, the same singing group her deceased mother joined. Cue Tori Spelling, the reigning queen of the group, who turns down the talented Tia in a fit of jealousy .

With nowhere else to turn, Tia recruits a rag-tag group from her office, even her boss who is a secret Karaoke enthusiast, to form (yes, you guessed it) The Mistle-Tones! When word gets around to Tori that Tia's group is totally killing their version of "Winter Wonderland", and that The Mistle-Tones  have enough talent to beat The Snow Belles, she extends Tia the offer of a lifetime - to join The Snow Belles just like her mother. Will she turn her back on her new friends or follow the light with Tori?

This one gets the honor of best pun in a title, but be sure to tune in for a spot on lip-sync performance from Ms. Spelling and a cameo from Carl Winslow!

I need my Tori Spelling fix each Christmas, and The Mistle-Tones is filling the void since Hallmark decided to only show the truly riveting, A Carol Christmas, at 4:00 AM! For shame.

12 Trees Of Christmas

One quiant NYC borough library is about to be closed by an evil, manly contractor, so what's a dedicated librarian to do? She organizes a Christmas Tree decorating contest to give the library publicity of course!

At first the librarian and contractor butt heads, but...are those sparks flying in between the tension? Stick with this boring story and questionable acting for a true shining star to make a cameo - Scary Spice shows up in this mess! Why she is in this movie is questionable, however, does it really matter?

Holidaze

Having not actually watched this one, but couldn't ignore the brilliant title, I just want the wonderful synopsis to speak for itself:

"Holidaze stars Jennie Garth (90210, What I Like about You) as Melody, a successful and adventurous business woman who begrudgingly returns to her hometown for work. While there she takes a tumble and wakes up in an alternate reality where she never left town and married her childhood sweetheart, Carter McClure, played by Cameron Mathison (All My Children, Good Morning America). Could this experience change Melody’s decision to leave home?"

So much hyjynx!

Ben's Christmas

First of all,  Erik Von Detton did it better in 1996 with his 90's Leo hair.

For this version, I should have known just by the boring title that it should be avoided. We find ourselves with a teenager named Ben who is reliving the same Christmas Day over and over again, because he's ungrateful for his family? Not entirely sure here.

The problem is this kid has the most monotonous Christmas Day of all time - nothing that exciting or terrible even happens (unless you count your parents awkwardly salsa-ing down a hallway). When the premise is a kid's Christmas will play over and over, make it interesting at least.

Eventually, nearly 45 minutes later, Ben understands he doesn't have to do the same thing every time he wakes up and it's Christmas again, and he stops moping around, but that was about the time I checked out. I'm sure there is a happy ending.

Let It Snow

When DJ Tanner and Mr. Seaver show up in a TV movie together, just sit down and give it a try.

There's a little role reversial here, as the woman (DJ) plays the capitalist homewrecker trying to shut down a popular mountain inn, and some handsome dude plays the sensible son of the inn owners. With snowball fights, cookie making, and sledding he tries to instill holiday cheer in DJ's black heart so that she will want to keep the inn open with all the down home charm.

Turns out her father (Alan Thicke) is the president of their company, and he is the real Humbug. Will the inn be saved? Will love bloom? Will DJ ever leave the mountains? So many questions, and thankfully, as one would expect, they are all answered.

A Snow Globe Christmas

What's with all the alternate universe movies? I've been cynical about the rest of these, but this is one I didn't finish, but definitely could have if I didn't have something better to do. Hence, it's not terrible.

This one finds a "cynical, overworked TV executive" in a perfect wonderland life after getting hit on the head with a snow globe. I know, hilarious, these just write themselves!

In this world she is a nice homebody with two kids and an adorable husband (played by Murray from Clueless). They even produce the town Christmas play together! No joke Donald Faison makes this movie actually cute.

Her bad tendencies were starting to kick in about the time I stopped watching. My theory is, influenced by her upstanding fake husband, she changes her ways, and stays in the snow globe kind of like Reese Witherspoon in Pleasantville.

Scratch that. Instead, she wakes up in her dreary office, storms out onto the streets with new vigor for life, and meet -cutes with the real version of Donald Faison in the streets of NYC. Credits roll. Curtains close. Fin. Masterpiece.


I'm living for these movies - just the plot descriptions have been making Christmas 2013 a while lot more hilarious! What have been some of your favorites? There's only about 100 more to choose from.