Saturday, November 27, 2010

Life Lessons: Burlesque Edition

More than anything, in the deepest depths of my heart,  I wanted to come on here today and report some sort of crazy Black Friday story. Something to do with guns, a brawl over the last pair of size 10 shoes, or even an over zealous coupon clipper screaming for help. I got nothin! People were considerate for cryin' out loud! What is this, America?

Seriously folks, this flower dragged her butt out of bed (after a power nap of, lets see, 3 hours) at 1:30 a.m.

Although, this was to WORK Black Friday, and not shop like the rest of those crazies. Had I been an employee at Walmart or Target, I think my story would be completely different. Having never been a participant in this Black Friday business, it was still entertaining to see people lined up outside at 3 a.m and then barge in through the doors like a stampede at 4 a.m. Oh deals, what they do to all of us.

With a mix of "Eye Of The Tiger" inspiration and a tiny nap, I soldiered on to have the night of all nights that I had been waiting a year for; seeing the resurrection of Cher in Burlesque!

I know what you haters are already thinking; that movie looks like a mess! Well, that judgment would be so wrong in too many ways to count.

Sure, the dialogue (and storyline...) in several occasions is horrendous, but that would be the good kind of horrendous, where it can be mocked and enjoyed all at the same time.

Nobody can hate a movie that begins with a top notch musical number like this (and a cover of Etta James):

(Who else forgot how incredible Christina Aguilera could be? I know I did.)

We are in the days of people downloading movies to watch on their computers, but an event movie like Burlesque should not be missed in the theater. The entire movie looks like it rolled in a giant pile of glitter (this is a really good thing), the musical numbers are amazingly entertaining, and Cher and Christina belt it out like nobody else. I can't think of the last movie I saw that was completely fun and enjoyable from start to finish.

There are several negative things that I know critics have been saying (I'm not even going to go there), because in the end I liked it too much to even care about the not so good stuff. I think many others will agree.

Walking away from this movie last night, I was left with many deep insights into life. Here are several lessons we can all learn from Burlesque:

1. Always wear something with a lil' sparkle (a boa, glitter eye shadow, belt buckle). You never know when you are going to have to break out in song and prove yourself.

2. Always drown your sorrows in a bottle of Patron. Apparently this is the only thing they serve at burlesque houses in Los Angeles (Or in the entire city? Best use of product placement ever).

3. Dreams always come true.

4. When riding on a motorcycle, please, in any way you can, dramatically throw off the scarf protecting your 'do from the wind.

5. Stanley Tucci should be cast in every movie, which we already knew. He almost steals this movie and he does not sing or dance. Why didn't he dance? We all know he can

6. Peter Gallagher, and his eyebrows now have some edgy scruffy hair to top the look off. This is not so much a lesson, but merely an update that Sandy Cohen still has it.

7. It's all about buying air space.

8. Breaking up with someone over the phone doesn't mean that it's really over. Don't let that other person move in...yet.

9. When you are from Iowa a jean jacket is appropriate for any outfit. 

10. Everyone, at least once, should perform a moody ballad a top a stage in an empty theater. Just once! Oh, and a spotlight is a must.

Okay that's enough, for now. I feel like there is going to be many, many games to come out of this movie! I can't wait.

Now get out there and enjoy this for yourselves!

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